Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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