My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
