my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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