what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
