my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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