woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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