You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
