Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
