cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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