Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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