Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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