Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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