I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
