he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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