my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
