I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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