in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
