I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
