so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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