I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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