remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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