dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
