hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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