my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Randomize
