Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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