Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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