He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
