am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
