she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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