oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize