We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
