you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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