I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
