we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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