She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
