Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
