I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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