im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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