it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
