just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
