I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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