that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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