your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
