You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize