I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
