So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
