You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
