I have demons in me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
