It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
