In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
