You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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