if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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