you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you would pick up someone in the library
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
