Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
