So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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