But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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