did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
