He kissed a someone with a penis
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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