You work out of a Hotel?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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