Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
