i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
