Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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