dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
