Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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