I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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