so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize