you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
