is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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