i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
