You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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